Pruning and walking with God

This is going to be pretty rambling- thinking out loud helps me bring my thoughts together.

We have a rental house that is presently open. This week I have been trying to work on things that needs to get done around the rental house- a shower needs some scrubbing to clean the grout-(uck), measure for a needed closet rod, replace bulbs in the garage, and most time consuming of all--- work on the yard. Doesn't sound too bad except there is a "natural area" that the renters figured meant do nothing to it and what seems like a million bushes and all of them seem to subscribe to the idea that bigger is always better. So they have grown to astronomical proportions. Seriously- these are those seemingly benign green generic bushes that grow in so many yards. They should NOT be taller than me!!! There probably 7 of these just in the front of the house. A couple hours spent earlier in the week and 6 SWEATY HOURS of yard work ... AND I am not done!!! As I was sweating in the 90+ degree heat today clipping these bushes, my mind began to wander. (I am choosing to believe it was deep mature thinking vs. the heat!) It hit me how much this parallels our lives- these unruly bushes. It is funny because it brought home a conversation I had with 2 of my friends the other day about how God was calling us to really step out and allow changes in ourselves.

Because the bushes were so big and out of control, I knew I had to use my trusty electric trimmer and really take a lot off alot of the foliage. As first I winced when I hacked off a bunch and there were essentially sticks not too far into the bush. My nieces asked me why I was making the bushes "bald". The leaves were just on the outside few inches. They have been allowed to just grow with no guidance, no pruning. I reminded myself how necessary pruning was even if they were ugly temporarily- to get the bushes healthy. Then it struck me- that is just like growing in my walk with God. As I continued trimming it was just amazing how much God talked to me through what I was doing.

As I cut one bush I was surprised to find hundreds of old leaves rotting in the bush. Another I even found a small block of cement- hidden in the branches! We need pruning, we need God to teach us and we need to remove those things that are making us unhealthy. Sometimes the results are temporarily not pretty at all, just like my bald looking bushes. We may look pretty and we have this appearance of having it together, but really... we are not healthy and underneath it all we are not nearly as attractive in our thoughts, habits, feelings, you name it.

Or sometimes it is in an particular issues we have. I, like many people, carry around baggage from a childhood that was complicated and not always the best circumstances. I would like to think I have downgraded from the whole 5 pieces luggage set to my 2 suitcase limit, but it is a work in progress. :-) Those issues from our past can sometime be the items that need pruned off. A very personal example is that I have a tendency to not take risks with friendships with people. I know alot of people, alot of people "know" me. Our daughter's former attachment therapist wisely made my husband and I talk about our growing up and how that affected us. I was so proud to have "moved past" so many things, forgiven, my heart healed and yet...I still guarded myself so much, pretty much just my husband was let in fully. The therapist made a statement that altered my thinking- Sometimes when we feel betrayed and our heart is broken and we build a wall around it to protect it. Our heart may heal and we feel healthier, but we leave the wall up, just in case. God spoke to me in that--My heart had healed in many ways and I felt okay, but I really wasn't all the way. Time to take the wall down brick by brick. Is it pretty to do that- not really. Not to me and sometimes not to other people as I try to get it right. Is it worth it, yes. For the first time in many years, I am trying to let myself take risks with people. Not just pretend to let people in, but really do it. My best friend has helped me with that too- She has seen my warts and all and she is still my friend! I have blabbed on and on and she is still my friend. I have been depressed had not alot to give and she is still my friend. I am a work in progress, thankfully!

God knows that at times in our lives we need to get all the way down to the sticks to grow and flourish. During tough times, I can try and keep up my appearances and worry about how it looks or I can let God prune and trim what is needed. Some of those times for me have not been attractive, to my self and possibly to others. Have you ever been convicted that you need to change or deal with issues that you don't want to? Even the process of working on it is difficult and it looks a lot like my scraggly bushes. Sometimes we we don't want to get down to the "sticks" because we KNOW what is there and we know it will throw us for a loop. We don't want people to see us struggling, so we stuff it or ignore it.

Mixed in some bushes was this seemingly endless vine, with thorns. I was forever being stuck and pricked as I tried to brush off the cut branches. The vine was intertwined with the branches and had these little shoots that wrapped themselves around the branches. I would pull and pull on branches that were cut, but until I cut the vine, I could not throw them to the ground for clean-up. The same things happens to us as we try and be pruned. Satan doesn't want us to grow, especially in our work with Christ. He tells you "You don't need to stop"" Why change?""It will be too hard""It will look bad""You can't do it". He wraps that thorny vine around us and tries to keep us holding on to what needs to be let go or dealt with. How often have I let Satan whisper in my ear? For me, Satan whispers in my ear that I am not worthy, I mess up continually. You know that voice. I have to cut off that vine and remind myself that God loves me immensely and I am worthy through Him.

Know what else? I found unexpected surprised when cut back the bushes, good ones this time! I found 2 old birds nest, just amazing in their perfection. And I found the most healthy looking ivy growing under one of the bushes. I had no idea it was there until I cut back a whole bunch of the biggest bush.

Do you need pruning? Do you need to let it get down to "the sticks"?

Is it a habit? Bitterness or grudge? Unresolved issues? Disobedience to God? Fear? What is holding you back from letting God do His best work in you? Let yourself be pruned- be willing to let go even if it isn't pretty. Because in the spring, those bushes will be beautiful and healthy

Africa- I want to be Africa bound

Within the last couple weeks, I found out about an opportunity to go to Uganda Africa to minister to orphans and needy children with Caroline's Promise. (www.carolinespromise4u.org) This is a non-profit started by a friend of mine. I have been on a mission trip through them before. CP board members went on a "vision trip" to Uganda to assess ways that CP could help in the future, as well as minister to children in orphanages. They saw so many children with horrific stories, children who need someone to care. Truly, many of these children are starving- for attention, love, hope and food. Look at these blogs to see why we need to care- these are from people who went on this trip in May.
http://www.sarahledford.blogspot.com
http://www.lovetheorphan.blogspot.com
http://www.carolinespromise.blogspot.com

Another blog that I stumbled on that works towards helping people in Uganda is
http://www.brandisthoughts.com/

Due to the quick nature of the trip--- airline money will be due within days....I sure need God to wow me and my best friend, Kirsten because we both feel like we should be doing it together. I definitely know how much this trip means to her.

Welcome back to Blogging!

So I blogged on xanga while we were waiting for our daughter Katie to come home from Guatemala. It was such a great release for me. Then, she got home and life got extremely busy and I just could not find the words to blog. The large demands of helping Katie adjust this first year home just meant something had to fall to the wayside (I will blog about her adjustment and challenges of adopting a preschooler too). But, I think it is time to start back up, especially to help me clarify my own thoughts. So, who knows what I will write about or how often. :-)